I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
