with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
