Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize