I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
