You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
