And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
