Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
