hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
