In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
