We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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