I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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