Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
