There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
