If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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