I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
