Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
