I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
