6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
