So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
