I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize