i don't like sucking hair
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
