idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
