please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
