I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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