the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
