Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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