So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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