That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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