my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
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