I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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