whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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