So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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