I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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