You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
