So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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