If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
vagina is talking i cant
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
