I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
