soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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