You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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