went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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