I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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