Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
