If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
