yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
