I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
