Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
