if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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