Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
