paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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