maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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