Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i think i have two assholes
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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