i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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