Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize