he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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