They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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