so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
