wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
