it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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