if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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